The Trying to Conceive and Just Starting Out Primer

This is a "primer" created by Krista (Rudylover) and posted by Jennifer (Tigger062077). We made this as a source of information for the "newbies" who are afraid to ask a "silly question"...and for the "oldies" who have been doing this so long they've forgotten the basics.

If you want to reach us, you can reach Jennifer at and Krista at

Friday, August 12, 2005


1ww: 1 week wait

2ww: 2 Week Wait

AF: Aunt Flow (menstrual cycle)

AI:Artificial Insemination

ART: Assisted Reproductive Technology

BBT: Basal Body Temperature

BCP: Birth Control Pills

BD: Baby Dancing (love making)

BFN: Big Fat Negative (HPT result)

BFP: Big Fat Positive (HPT result)

BMS: Baby-Making Sex

BW: Bloodwork

BPT: Blood Pregnancy Test

BTW:By the Way


CB:Cycle Buddy

CD:Cycle Day

CF:Cervical Fluid

CM:Cervical Mucus

D&C:Dilation & Currettage

D&E:Dilation & Evacuation

DB:Darling /Dear Boyfriend

DD: Darling/Dear Daughter

DF: Darling/Dear Fiance

DH: Darling/Dear Husband

DP: Days Past (also Dear Partner)

DPO: Days Past Ovulation

DS: Darling/Dear Son

DW: Darling/Dear Wife

Dx: Diagnosis

E2: Estradiol

EB,EMB: Endometrial Biopsy

ED: Every Day

EOD:Every Other Day

ENDO: Endometriosis

EPT: Early Pregnancy Test

EW: Egg White Consistency

FD: Fun Dancing (when not bd'ing)

FMOD: Future Mother of the Day

FMOW: Future Mother of the Week

FSH: Follicle Stimulating Hormone

GCT: Glucose Challenge Test

GP: General Practitioner

GTT: Glucose Tolerance Test

HCG: human chorionic gonadotropin(Pg Hormone)

H&HHappy and Healthy

HPT: Home Pregnancy Test

HSG: Hysterosalpingogram

HTH: Hope this Helps

IF: Infertility

IUI: Intra-Uterine Insemination

IM: Intra-muscular (Injections)

IVF: In Vitro Fertilization

JMO: Just my opinion

KWIM?:Know what I mean?

KWYM: Know what you mean

LAP: Laparoscopy

LOL: Laugh out Loud

LPD: Luteal Phase Defect

MC or m/c: miscarriage

MFIF: Male Factor Infertility

N/M: No message

NP: Nurse Practitioner/no problem

O: Ovulation

OB/GYN: Obstetrician/Gynecologist

OPK: Ovulation Predictor Kit

O/T:Off Topic

PCOS: Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome

PCT: Post Coital Test

PG: Pregnant

PID: Pelvic Inflammatory Disease

PMS: Premenstrual Syndrome

POAS: Pee on a stick

PUPO: Pregnant until Proven otherwise

RE: Reproductive Endocrinologist (Infertility Specialist)

SA: Semen Analysis

SI: Secondary Infertility

SO: Significant Other

STD: Sexually Transmitted Disease

TAB: Taking a Break

TIA: Thanks in Advance

TMI: Too much information

TRH: Thyroid-releasing Hormone

TSH: Thyroid Stimulating Hormone

TTC: Trying to Conceive

US, u/s: Ultrasound

UTI: Urinary Tract Infection

WBC: White Blood Cells

Thanks to Amber (AMLedoux48) for putting together this list for us. You can reach her at for a more permanent copy if you would like.

Thursday, August 11, 2005

What Can I Expect When Going off Birth Control Pills?

We all have questions about what going off Birth Control Pills (BCP) will be like. What will our bodies do? How soon can we get pregnant? Will we have regular cycles? I hate to say it, but its true – when discontinuing BCP - anything goes. This is also true when stopping other similar hormonal birth control like the patch or the nuva ring. Each woman’s response to coming off BCP is different, and what is considered normal is a very wide range.

Can I get pregnant in the first cycle off? Yes you can. It is possible to get pregnant before you ever have a normal period off BCP. You should check with your doctor and see if they want you to try to TTC in that first cycle off, or if they prefer you to use other contraceptives for 1-3 months and then try.

I just had my period at the end of my pill pack. When will my next period start? No one can answer that question. Your first cycle off may be earlier, on time or later than when you were on the BCP. BCP really forces most women to have regular 28 day cycles. Your body may have a different time table than that when regulating its own hormones. Cycles right off BCP can be short as 21 days or over 90 days. This is normal. If you go 90 days without a period and still are getting negative home pregnancy tests, you should see your doctor. Most doctors will give you meds to induce AF if she has been absent that long and it is confirmed that you aren’t pregnant (some will do this at 60 days as well).

Will I start ovulating right away? Maybe. Some women don’t ovulate right away, but ovulate after a few cycles off. Some women ovulate in their first cycle off. Some women need medical help to get them to start ovulating again.

Will my periods be the same? Maybe. They may be shorter or longer. They may be lighter or heavier. You might have less PMS or worse PMS (though it seems most women get worse PMS). All of this is normal.

Will my cycle length be consistent? Maybe. It is normal to have cycles of varying length for some time after going off BCP. (Personally my cycles have ranged from 29 days – 42 days in length in the last 6 cycles of being off, and I was a consistent 30 days before going on BCP.) Some women do rapidly return to a consistent cycle length though. It is also normal to have a few consistent cycles and then have a longer or shorter cycle.

The bottom line is this: Going off BCP is unpredictable and experiences really vary. You can rest assured that someone else has likely had a similar experience though, and you are not alone. Also many women have forged this road ahead of us and have gone on to successful pregnancies.

The Menstrual Cycle

A menstrual cycle begins on the first day of your period. It ends the day before you get your next period. (Most of us on JSO agree that you count the first day of red flow as cd 1, and not brown/pink spotting.) While 28 day cycles are considered the textbook norm, it is very normal to have longer or shorter cycles on a regular basis. Sources differ on how big the “normal” range is, but 24 – 36 days per cycle is probably a reasonable length. Your cycles may or may not be consistent and may vary in length from cycle to cycle.

The menstrual cycle is divided into 2 phases: The Follicular Phase and the Luteal Phase.

The Follicular phase begins when you get your period and ends the day you ovulate. This is the time the egg matures and gets ready for release from the ovary. The Follicular Phase can vary greatly in length from cycle to cycle. It can be affected by stress or illness…etc and become longer or shorter than what is normal for you.

The Luteal Phase is the time between ovulation and when you get your next period. This phase is fairly steady in length for each woman and should not vary more than a day or two from what is normal for that woman. The textbook norm Luteal Phase is 14 days, though the average woman has a luteal phase falling somewhere from 12 – 16 days and this is very normal. I actually see a fair number of women on the TTC boards of having regular LP’s of 10 – 17 days. Many experts feel as long as your LP is at least 10 days that it is adequate for TTC, though some experts suggest 12 days as the minimum acceptable length. If your normal LP is shorter than 10 days or longer than 17 days, you should see a doctor to get checked out.

How will you know how long your Luteal Phase is? Well, you won’t know unless you are charting your fertility signs. If you are interested in this topic, I suggest you read “Taking Charge of Your Fertility” by Toni Weschler. You might also find some helpful information on websites that allow you track your fertility signs such as Fertility Friendor My Monthly Cycles.

The bottom line is, there is no need to freak out if your cycles aren’t 28 days long and it is perfectly normal for your cycle length and ovulation day to vary.

Pros & Cons of Charting

Charting can be helpful for women who are TTC, whether they have fertility issues or not. It does take some getting used to and some time each day, but the charts can be very helpful, particularly if your cycles are not predictable in length.

Charting involves keeping track of your cycle days, basal body temperatures (BBT), and other fertility signs such as cervical mucus, cervical position or ovulation predictor kit results (OPK). Charts can help you see when/if you have ovulated, how long your luteal phase is, what your body does in the days leading up to ovulation and how long your cycles are among other things.

What does charting tell you that other methods cannot? Charting can confirm ovulation pretty reliably if you have a clear thermal shift. (A positive OPK cannot actually confirm ovulation occurred, just that hormone levels were right for it to occur.) Charting can show you if your luteal phase might be too short to be ideal for pregnancy achievement (most sources say 10 days or longer is okay, but some experts think you need at least 12 days). Charting can show when you ovulate in your cycle, which may be very different than the 14th day of your cycle that many people believe is “the day.” Charting can also help you to see if you ovulated later than usual for you and therefore will have a longer cycle than you normally do, which can save you from thinking you are actually late and need to take an HPT.

What are the cons of charting? Basically the time and effort you have to put into it. Also, some ladies charts are not clear and are hard to interpret. The extra effort may seem like it is all for nothing, if you are one of those ladies with ambiguous charts. The process of charting can make some people obsess over TTC more than they would if they were not charting (though it saves others from worrying) too, and it is easy to get burned out on charting.

The bottom line is this: charting can give many women a lot of helpful information if they make the effort and get the hang of doing it, but it does not work well for all women.

What is Cervical Mucus?

Cervical Mucus (CM) is also called cervical fluid. It is the fluid secreted from the opening in your cervix. It typically changes consistency at different stages of your cycle and so can be a helpful tool in the TTC journey.

As a woman approaches ovulation, her CM usually becomes thinner, wetter, more slippery and even stretchy. This type of fertile quality CM makes conditions more favorable for sperm to swim up through the cervix to head towards their goal.

The amount and quality of CM produced really varies from woman to woman, and further it can vary from cycle to cycle. The wetter, more slippery and stretchier your CM is, the longer sperm will be able to thrive in it and the better chance they have of reaching their destination. Some medications (such as clomid, or antihistamines, for example) can cause you to produce less CM or to make your CM less wet, and therefore not as hospitable to sperm. Drinking enough water each day can help, and is good for you regardless. Some experts also suggest that drinking green tea will help you make more CM and that regular Robitussin might help thin out thicker CM. You can read more about these options at many internet sites dealing with fertility. Some common phrases used to describe CM quality are listed below, in order of increasing fertile properties:

Dry – not really noticeable, dampness evaporates quickly from fingertip

Sticky – thick and sticky feeling, may roll into a ball when rubbed between your fingertips

Creamy – feels like lotion, often whitish in color, cool to the touch

Watery – very thin, very wet, does not evaporate quickly from fingertip

Egg White (EWCM) – similar in consistency to raw egg whites, very slippery, stretches several inches when pressed between fingertips and pulled apart, may be clear or streaked with white.

TCOYF recommends checking your CM three times a day and noting the most fertile CM you observe that day on your chart.

Not all women make all stages of CM every cycle. This is normal. If you consistently find that your CM quality is not very favorable, you may wish to use something like pre-seed which is a “sperm-friendly” lubricant. Preseed may help mimic fertile quality CM, and make BD more comfortable, as regular lubricants should be avoided during your fertile period, when TTC as studies show they can hinder sperm from swimming.

Another point to note is that just because you do not have fertile quality CM, it does not necessarily mean that you are not ovulating. Also just because you do have EWCM, it does not necessarily mean that you are ovulating at that time. EWCM can show up at other points in your cycle, unrelated to ovulation. You should evaluate your other fertility signs and/or tests as well when trying to determine when you are ovulating.

What is the Cervical Position?

The cervix is actually the neck of your uterus and it has an opening in the center which allows sperm to enter the uterus, and allows your uterine lining to be shed when you have your period. The cervix is also what dilates to allow babies to exit the uterus and enter the birth canal when labor is in progress.

The position and texture of your cervix can be another indicator of whether you are in a fertile phase of your cycle or not. Many women who prefer not to chart their temperatures still gain insight into their cycles by charting cervical position (CP) and cervical mucus (CM). Just as CM changes throughout the cycle, so does the position and texture of your cervix. As ovulation approaches, it usually rises higher into the vagina, becomes softer, and the opening gets larger to allow sperm to more easily swim through.

You can check your cervical position by inserting one or two clean fingers into your vagina and feeling for a knob or bump of tissue towards the upper end of the vagina. Most women find that checking the CP while sitting on the toilet, or standing with one foot up on the toilet works best for them. You should try to check the CP from the same position each day. Checking the CP once a day should be adequate for TTC purposes. (It is not necessary to observe your cervical position during your menstrual period.)

After your period, but before ovulation is approaching, your cervix will protrude lower into the vagina. It will have a firm texture that is similar to the firmness you’d feel by pressing the tip of your nose. The opening of the cervix (called the os) will be small and tightly closed. It feels like a small dimple in the center of your cervix. You note these characteristics on your chart as Low, Firm, Closed. Typically, you are not fertile when your cervix is in this state.

When your body is preparing to ovulate, your cervix will feel higher in the vagina. It may actually become difficult to reach with your fingertips. The texture gets softer and is more comparable to pressing on your lips than to the tip of your nose. The opening gets larger, so the dimple in the center your cervix will feel bigger than before. You note these characteristics on your chart, as Soft, High, Open. Typically when you are soft, high and open, you are considered to be in a fertile phase of your cycle.

CP is subjective. It does not feel exactly the same for each woman. It is best to check your CP each day (after AF is over) of your cycle to note how it changes and get used to what you are feeling. Just as with CM, it is possible to observe favorable fertility signs and not ovulate at that time. If you are not temping, you should BD each day or every other day that you note favorable cervical position to cover your bases.

The links below show pictures of actual cervixes at different stages of the cycle and may be helpful to you, but you should be prepared for their graphic nature, as they are real photographs and some people have trouble looking at them.

Garden of Fertility

Sister Zeus

BBT: Is that some new Cable Channel??

BBT stands for basal body temperature, which means your resting body temperature. Charting your basal body temperature can often provide helpful information to women who are trying to conceive or are using natural family planning/fertility awareness method for birth control. The basic premise is this: your average temperature will be higher after ovulation than it is before you ovulate each cycle. After ovulation the corpus luteum produces progesterone, which is a heat producing hormone, which is why most women have a thermal shift after ovulation.

How do you BBT? You take your temperature every morning when you wake up before getting out of bed. It is best to take your temperature at the same time every day and after at least 3 hours of consecutive sleep. You then fill in the temperatures on a chart so you can see the pattern. You can do this online at Fertility Friend or other sites, or you can fill out charts on paper. Here is a link to a paper chart that you can print out: TCOYF

Most people find that using a digital thermometer works best. Many stores sell thermometers specifically for BBT, but as long as the thermometer displays temperatures to the nearest tenth of a degree (98.1, 98.2, 98.3…etc), it should work fine. [Caution: apparently there are thermometers out there that appear to display to the nearest tenth, but actually round to even tenths only (98.0, 98.2, 98.4…etc) which is not accurate enough.] The nicest BBT thermometers have a lighted display and memory. When you turn them on they display the last temperature taken. This allows you to take your temp and go back to sleep without writing the temperature down, as you can check the temperature later when you are ready to get out of bed. The BD Basal Digital Thermometer is one such product.

What should your BBT chart look like? Basically, your temps stay in a lower range before you ovulate and then after you ovulate the temps stay in a higher range and usually start to drop back down around the time of AF. If you are pregnant, the temps should stay higher. Some women get a temperature dip when they ovulate. Some women get a temperature dip when a fertilized egg implants as well.

You can see examples of charts that are filled out by real women on Fertility Friend. There is also a lot of great information in the book “Taking Charge of Your Fertility” by Toni Weschler, which tells you all about how to chart and what charting can show you in regards to pregnancy achievement, birth control, and menopause. TCOYF

Charting can show you several very important things that you may not know, otherwise. It can show you if you are likely ovulating, when in your cycles you ovulated, how long your luteal phase is, and if you have 18 or more days of sustained higher temps, among other things. According to TCOYF, if you have 18 days or more of sustained higher temps, you are most likely pregnant.

When you are charting for TTC, you should make sure you keep having intercourse regularly from the time you see fertility signs until your temps rise and stay higher. You usually ovulate on the last day of your temps being lower. Once the temperature rises, it is usually too late to conceive, but you should BD that day to cover your bases. After the temps rise and stay higher the egg is either fertilized or dead, so you can lay off the BDing at that time if you want to.

BBT is more helpful for some women that others. Some ladies have very ambiguous temperatures and they may find charting is more frustrating than anything. The nice thing is, charting costs you very little money, so if you abandon the practice you have not lost much.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Ovulation Predictor Kits (OPK's)

Ovulation Predictor Kits (OPK) are urine tests that detect a surge of Luteinizing Hormone (LH) in your urine. LH is present in most women’s urine all of the time to some extent, but it surges just prior to ovulation.

OPK usually come with 5 – 10 tests that you dip into your urine or hold in your urine stream. You begin using a test each day a few days prior to when you believe you will ovulate until you get a positive result. Most women stop testing after they get a positive result. Most people agree that it is best to test somewhere in the hours from late morning through early evening. It is believed by many experts that LH often surges in the early morning hours and then takes several more hours to be detectable in your urine, which is why they advocate testing later in the day. Some women do prefer to test 2 times a day to be sure they do not miss the LH surge, but most women will be able to catch their surge by testing once a day.

You follow the instructions with the OPK and then evaluate the results. As with pregnancy tests, there is a control line and a test line on the stick. The major difference is that with most OPK, the test line must be as dark as, or darker, than the control line to be considered a positive test. Many women have a light test line every time they test, but this is not a positive OPK. The line must be dark like the control line.

OPK can be used on their own, or in conjunction with charting your other fertility signs. You will probably learn the most about your cycles if you use OPK in conjunction with charting at least some of your fertility signs.

OPK are great tools but they are not fool-proof. The results can be interpreted differently by different women and an important thing to note is that you can get a positive OPK and not actually ovulate soon afterwards. It is possible to have a surge of LH as your body prepares to ovulate, but then the egg is not actually released for whatever reason. When this happens, your body will likely try to ovulate again, and so you may have another surge of LH if that happens. If you are temping, you would probably see that your temp did not rise within a few days after a positive OPK. That might clue you in to start testing with OPK again to see if you get another positive, followed by a thermal shift, which gives you more reason to believe you really did ovulate around that time in your cycle.

There is a great FAQ section on OPK at Pee On A Stick.Com and I highly recommend you read it if you plan to use OPK.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Signs of Pregnancy? Or Just PMS?

The process of TTC makes generally makes women focus more on how their bodies feel or look than they ever have before. It becomes very easy to over-analyze every little twinge or appearance of something perceived to be “new.”

It would be wonderful if some symptom would be concrete evidence of a pregnancy before a period is missed, but that is not realistic. Unfortunately many symptoms of early pregnancy can occur for reasons unrelated to pregnancy. You may have experienced these things after ovulation in other cycles and just not noticed them because you were not focused on TTC at that time. You may be experiencing “new” feelings or symptoms if you recently discontinued hormonal birth control methods. It is also possible that you are so focused on TTC that you have psychosomatic symptoms caused by wanting to be pregnant so badly. It is important to realize that having these symptoms may not be a sign of pregnancy at all.

Some early“signs” of pregnancy are discussed below:

Nausea: could be morning sickness, other illness, or just related to anxiety or excitement about TTC

Fuller/Heavier Breasts: could be pregnancy, but many women experience this either after ovulation or close to when they expect their period regardless of pregnancy

Breast Tenderness/More Sensitive Nipples: could be pregnancy or just normal response to hormones near the time of your period

More Pronounced Glands on Areolas: You may notice little bumps on the dark skin surrounding your nipples. These are called Montgomery’s Tubercles and they are little glands that secrete oils to keep your nipple area soft and supple. Many women have noticeable bumps at various points in their cycles whether pregnant or not. It is normal to have anywhere from 4-28!

Cramps/Twinges in the Pelvic Region: could be a symptom of a pregnancy implanting or it could just be due to normal reproductive organ activity

Implantation Spotting: This is more the exception than the norm. Some women have a bit of spotting when their fertilized egg implants. This usually happens around 7 – 10 days past ovulation. Spotting can also be due to a number of other things as well though.

Implantation Dip: If you are charting, you may see one of these. Again, these are more the exception that the norm. Only 28% of charts from pg women show an actual implantation dip.

Increased Amount of Creamy CM near the time AF is expected: most women do have an increased amount of vaginal discharge during pregnancy, but CM is an extremely variable and subjective thing and so it may be due to hormones and not pregnancy.

Increased Fatigue: could be pregnancy or might be just plain tiredness from your busy life

Moodiness/Highly Emotional: could be pregnancy related or might also just be PMS

The bottom line is this – you may have all of these so called symptoms and not be pregnant and you may have none of them and still get your BFP. Paying attention to what your body is telling you is a good thing, but remember that no signs are concrete. If you get very excited about these signs you might be setting yourself up for disappointment though. Try to relax and remain objective, as hard as it may be as you wait to see if you were successful this cycle

HPT's: Can They REALLY Detect Pregnancy 5 Days Early?

Many name brand HPT’s claim that they can detect the pregnancy hormone up to 5 days before AF is late. According to Dr. Amos Grunebaum (the fertility doc on WebMD), this claim is very misleading and does not hold true for many women. Note the claim always says “UP TO” 4 or 5 days early. Other pregnancy tests not designed for early detection say “AS SOON AS the first day of your missed period.” These HPT manufacturers are not guaranteeing they can detect pregnancy that early, just that they MIGHT – though many women do not understand that.

HcG is the hormone pregnancy tests detect. It is not produced until a fertilized egg implants in the uterus, and then it takes a few days before it can be found in the woman’s urine. Implantation occurs on average at 7-10 days past ovulation (dpo) – though some sources cite 6 – 12 dpo as a more reasonable range.

The average woman gets her period 15 days after she ovulates, which means her luteal phase is 14 days long. This is the kind of woman these tests base their claims on, and further they assume a fairly early implantation day. Many women don’t have a 14 day LP. Most women have an LP of 12 – 16 days actually – though some can be shorter and some can be longer. Testing that early for women with shorter than average LP’s would almost never yield a positive result.

Let’s say that a woman with that “gold standard” 14 day LP became pregnant and her fertilized egg implanted at 7 dpo. If she took the HPT 5 days early, she would still only have a few days for the hCG to build up. She may or may not get a BFP even if she was pregnant depending on how much hCG was present in her urine at that time. (Technically this is not a false negative. Negatives are only truly false if the hCG in the urine is above the level that the test detects and it reads negative.)

If you have trouble dealing with BFNs it is always best to wait until you are sure you are late to test (which you may not know if your cycles are unpredictable, unless you are charting). Even then, there is no guarantee that the hormone level is high enough to show up positive on the HPT. Different brands detect different levels of the hormone, and women produce it at different rates too. If you have questions about HPT’s and how they work, is a very helpful website with a lot of information.

Tips For Using HPT's

What kind of test should you use? All Home Pregnancy Tests (HPT) are not created equally. Some are much more sensitive than others (test for a smaller amount of hCG) and you should be aware of this before you go shopping for an HPT. The more sensitive the test, the more likely you will be able to get a positive if you are pregnant. Many women on the WebMD boards have had good success with the Equate brand HPT, retailed by Wal-Mart. Others that I see mentioned frequently are First Response Early Results and Answer Quick and Simple (these companies also sell less sensitive tests, so be sure to read the labels carefully and check to see these are the ones that can be used before a missed period). If you are on a tight budget, you may wish to try looking at the local Dollar Tree or Dollar General as they have some tests for $1 that are actually sensitive to 25 mIU but you must pee in a cup and use an enclosed dropper to deposit your urine into the test, as opposed to holding the test stick in your urine stream. See this link for more information on test sensitivity:

When should you test? This is a question with no concrete answer. Women make hCG at different rates after becoming pregnant. Also, the fertilized eggs don’t all implant on the same number of days past ovulation. These things directly affect how much of the hormone hCG will be present in your urine if you are pregnant. It seems most women get their BFP at 10 – 14 days past ovulation when using sensitive tests (25 mIU or better). Depending on the length of your luteal phase, this may be a few days before you expect your period, or even a few days after you expect your period. It takes some women longer to get a positive test though. If you are worried that you might not cope well with a BFN, you should wait until you are sure you are late to test.

Most tests now say that you can use them any time of day. This is true, but you have the best chances of getting a BFP if you use your first morning urine (FMU), particularly if you are not even late yet.

Read the instructions. Tests have a time limit to read valid results. You might wish to set a timer so you know when to read the test results. You are also supposed to get the right amount of urine on the test, so read how long to hold the stick in your urine stream, or how long to dip it in urine. Read all of the instructions with the test carefully and follow them to have the best chance for a valid test result.

The test line should be in color for a positive result – usually pink in the US, but some tests use blue lines. A grayish line that looks like a shadow or an indentation is probably not a positive result.

There is a great FAQ section about HPT at this site:

What if you get a BFN? You may have tested too early. If you have still not gotten your period 2-3 days later you might wish to re-test if you are confident you are late. If you are not sure if you are late, you may want to test once a week so as not to keep wasting money on tests. If you have consistent cycle lengths and get to be 2 weeks late or more and are still getting negative test results, you may wish to call your doctor for some advice and possibly a blood test.

Monday, August 08, 2005

Comebacks for Annoying TTC comments

"You just need to relax! You worry about this too much."

1. You can get pregnant during a rape! You can get pregnant from your abusive boyfriend/husband. You can get pregnant in jail. You can get pregnant while you're being molested by a relative. You can get pregnant in Somalia or India. Tell me about my stressful life now!

2. If I were any more relaxed, I'd be COMATOSE!

3. Do you think relaxing cures cancer or any other disease? Then why do you think it would cure the diseases that cause fertility problems?

4. You worry about money too much. You need to quit your job and go relax on a beach for 3 months, the money will just come to you!


6. Gee, I hadn't thought of that! You mean relaxing will make my husband start producing sperm? Is that going to unblock my tube?

7. Have you found that most difficulties in your life have been overcome by relaxing or by taking action?

8. I was relaxed for the first year and a half we were trying, but it didn’t work, so I gave it up.

9. Why do you feel threatened by me being proactive?

10. And here I was thinking we just needed to have sex. THANKS!

11. Stress doesn't cause infertility - infertility causes stress.

12. You try staying calm while your husband gives you a shot in the butt.

13. You try staying calm when you have five pelvic exams a month.

14. I am relaxed… except when people make stupid comments.

15. We already tried that method, now we're trying something different.

"So when are you two planning to start a family?"

1. We are a family.

2. We already are a family, it just has two people in it.

3. So, when are you planning on minding your own business?

4. When the egg and sperm decide to do a tango.

5. About 3 years ago!

6. We are planning to start a family, and we've certainly been doing our part!

7. We're way past the planning stage, we've already contracted with professionals.

8. ASAP. When are you going to have liposuction/plastic surgery?

"What do you want a baby for, anyway?"

1. For tax purposes, of course.

2. So that there will be someone to laugh at all the nasty comments I make about you behind your back.

3. Well, the dogs seem to have turned out well...

4. What bothers you so much about me wanting a baby?

5. What do most people want a baby for?

6. Because we need someone to help us tend the farm… Duh!

"It’s God’s will…"

1. Every woman in the bible who was childless and wanted a baby gave birth!

2. If it weren't His will, then we wouldn't have body parts that fit together.

3. It IS God's will that we have a baby. The bible says: Go forth and multiply.

4. Do you have a direct phone line to God?

5. Who died and made you God?

6. Sounds like you don't want us to have a baby.

7. Is it God's will that drug addicts have babies too?

8. Finally, someone who understands God’s plan… Since you understand it, why don’t you just explain it to me?

9. Do you really believe that God plans for suffering?

"You want kids? You can take mine!"

1. You mean you really hate them that much?

2. I've already tried the lease-to-own option (i.e. babysitting), this time I want the tag & title option.

3. (very earnestly) Oh, that's wonderful! I'd love to have them! When can I take them? I'll have to clean out the spare bedroom.

4. Gee, I hope they don’t know you feel that way about them.

5. No, thanks. I plan to have much nicer children than yours.

"Well, I know its none of my business, but are you sure you're doing everything right?

1. Why? Do you want to show us how it's done? (accompanied with a leer)

2. Oh, you mean he has to put it inside of me?

3. Well, we got this book… I admit, it’s a bit confusing… but I think we’ve got it down pretty well… Tab A goes into Slot B, right?

4. Lemme guess, you’re offering private lessons, right?

5. You’re right! It isn't!

Various Helpful Websites

Info on HcG levels

Info on Femprin/Vitex

Info on HPT's and OPK's